Truly understanding what happened is also the only way to build back trust—which you're going to need if you decide to stay.
The cheating spouse, meanwhile, may feel ashamed and confused as to what the next step should be. Moving forward, the unfaithful partner should be an open book. If You’re the One Who Cheated. Of course, the trick question is, "How do I know if the relationship is worth saving?" Ask them to listen with a nonjudgmental ear and focus on being there for you rather than tearing down your partner. For those that are currently dealing with the aftermath of an affair, remember these tips. As a therapist who specializes in couples and relationship problems, I hear this all the time from clients who have been cheated on and then decide to stay in the relationship. A doormat? If, after talking to your partner and being super honest with yourself, you decide to stay together, the next hurdle is telling any friends and family who know about the cheating. Cheated-on spouses often experience feelings of anger and depression, as well as inability to move past the details of the affairs or trust the other spouse. Do not have any contact whatsoever with the other person. They need to hold their partner accountable until the trust is rebuilt. Instead, it could uncover deep rifts and issues that were ignored or pushed aside.
6 Steps You Must Take To Save Your Relationship After Being Cheated On, What It's Really Like To Be Cheated On (& 10 Steps To Recover From The Pain So You Can Save Your Marriage), 7 Ways To Survive Infidelity When You're The Cheater, 10 Real, Time-Tested Ways To Move On After A Heartbreaking Divorce (Full Of Cheating And Lies), how to get off the emotional rollercoaster, Issues related to body image or insecurity. Although it might feel like a punch in the gut, try to understand exactly why and how the cheating happened. If your spouse wants to see a marriage counselor, say yes. Whether they want all the details or just have a few questions, honesty is key.
And when they do, one of the hardest things isn't just repairing their relationship with their partner but dealing with the shame they feel for staying. That’s on your shoulders alone. Pop songs cement it in our brains that when a guy cheats, it's time to slash his tires or burn down his house, not have an honest conversation about the relationship. Honesty in relationships is associated with lower conflict, but it is important for both partners to agree on these standards and talk about them often.2. When a partner refuses to supply answers, it shows a lack of trust. Emotionally-focused couples therapy is a good modality for working through the pain of infidelity and to help rebuild new ways of interacting with each other. But often it's not that simple.". Whether you were unfaithful or it was your spouse who stepped out, you both need to refrain from communicating with the other individual.
I find that most of my clients already know the answer before they come to my office. Good luck on your journey and don’t forget to explore additional resources for helping you and your partner deal with the effects of infidelity. "I never thought I'd be the kind of person who stays with a cheater."
By understanding the cause, discussing the effects, and working toward rebuilding trust, it is possible to move forward.
Build your new marriage together with honesty and love and look to your future together, not to the past.